Anyone else with a wife or daughter struggling with the "innocent until proven guilty" concept today?

Have you read "To Kill a Mockingbird"?

Or been in the French Quarter of New Orleans, which you will notice is French for the tourists, but really is a Sicilian and Italian area, to a large degree, as well the Creole and African American influence.

The largest lynching of it's day, was 11 Sicilians being lynched by a mob, for allegations, that had no evidence, and the court proceedings said that.

https://en.wikipedia.org/[...]_lynchings

So, I have to be for "do it the right way", meaning the legal way.

Otherwise, everybody starts lynching everybody, in revenge, vendetta, and retribution.

With every nasty means at their disposal.

It's a struggle, not a condemnation on my part. Using caution and gathering evidence beyond simple speculation.
I'm not exactly taking up a torch and pitchfork, but I'm not signing my kids up for a private lesson.
I'm a firm believer in innocent until proven guilty, I'm just struggling balancing my morality and my paternal reflexes.
Maybe it just hurts seeing that someone i admire athletically might be a bad person.

I never let my kids be alone with an adult coach, nor do a sleep over, never.

Not a male coach, not a female coach.

No way.

Largely, because I investigated some cases, and I taught college classes about those cases,

And, I have been in Sheriff's forensics labs, none of those badged or non-sworn lab geeks or arresting officers let their kids do sleep overs.

No way.

I feel your struggle.

I handled it in the most cynical fashion possible, or thereabouts.

All the respect in the world to you my brother.
I wish the world was a safer place for our children.

Me too, and right back at you.

Royler took a prudent stance in his statement.

On accusation, instructor removed until legal investigations are complete.

Not much hedge against false accusations, but it is a clear policy, and prudent.

Unfortunately, investigations can take years, as can subsequent prosecutions, or exonerations.

There will be no perfect solutions to these problem sets.

Any organization worth being a part of these days has a policy either explicitly forbidding this or placing extensive restrictions on it. One I work with that provides free aiplane rides for kids only allows the pilots to be alone with a kid because the airplane only has 2 seats. If I have a kid sign up with me I insist that a parent come with us. Lots of guys put cameras in their planes and record every flight in its entirety, but that isn't always possible.

Pushing club Bible study = cult. Cult leaders diddle. Zero percent surprised.

Very culty, if we enforce the scriptures, or any of our beliefs,

On any one.

Wear a hat, or not, as you like.

Eat pork, or beef, or no animal flesh at all.

Be of one spirit, or two, as is your conscience.

Wear a robe, a suit, or a dress, with beard or not,

Pray, or not, as is your custom.

None of my concern.

Going after BJJ Fanatics now?
Give me a break

That's how it works. If someone does something bad you've got to punish everyone associated with them just for being there.

If the matter is proven, I could see a business who is a distributor of existing content going in either direction, as a choice of their conscience.

On another hand, businesses tend to make decisions based on impacts to the bottom line.

Harvey Weinstein made many movies. Hollywood is seemingly a predatory filth pit, yet people still watch their shows and movies.

Mike Tyson was convicted of Rape,
Yet many watched his last bout.
Although the lack of black male jurors in that trial was noteworthy.

More wrinkles, more situations:

https://bjjdoc.com/2026/0[...]ce-itself/

Professor Steve Hall , one of Royce Gracie's first American black belts,
Reminded me today,
That I told him 30 years ago, the parable about not bringing one's traumas on the mat.
These are not new issues, as he reminded me, which is ironic.

When someone says, "don't bring your traumas on the mats",

The obvious reply is, "people with trauma carry that trauma with them, and cannot always, or sometimes ever, turn it off".

Here was my reply 30 years ago, in allegory to those in the BJJ community, like Professor Hall, listening to me, then:

If you are very angry, or in despair, that is the wrong time to ride your motorcycle fast,
Because you’re not in the right mental state to be riding a motorcycle that day, you don’t have your full wits about you,
And because of that you may hurt yourself or the other people around you.
You may not see the drunk driver running through the stop sign right into you, or may lose control, and cause an accident, yourself.

Practicing combat sports where people can really hurt themselves or those around them is no different than riding motorcycles in that sense.
If you don’t have your full wits about you, and are not calm, do not ride your motorcycle that day or any day, that is the case.
Do something else on those days.
Matwork and combat sports, are like riding motorcycles, that way.
They are unforgiving, and will not prevent our traumas from bringing harm to ourselves and others while engaging in those activities.

This is not victim shaming, it is hating to see motorcycle accidents, harms, and more traumas.

But, just as people spread colds and flus,
Or pass the songs in their heads on to others,
So, too are traumas, re-committed, and spread.

Not just traumas of sexual assault,
But also those of Wrath, Anger, and Fury,
The wrathful trauma of our community, who break themselves, or others, because of their rage.

So, if you have the cold, or the flu, or if your skin or person has an itching or weeping rash, or you are in your demons, or your traumas, do not train that day.
Go rest, or, garden, meditate, pray, listen to music, or pet your dog, or cat, or go for a walk in nature.
Wrap your sores, in a poultice, and heal yourself.
Then train, when it is the right time to train.
And go do other things, when those are those others seasons, natures, or times.

And if some of those toe nails cut you, expect ill flowers.
Likewise, with snots, green or yellow snots, especially, or a fever.
And, a nosebleed that does not stop quickly, send them to the Emergency Room, that can kill them.
And if someone has heat exhaustion, give them room temperature water, not cold water, and cool their pits and head, and other areas.
As can unresolved sea sickness, or diarrhea's, be fatal by dehydration,
Even with plenty of water, without the needed salts, or in the wrong more dose, even for water.

These are all very basic things to know, regarding being a responsible party in those rooms, to reduce traumas.

Why would we ever teach the breaking of limbs, or chokes, or the application of deadly, and potentially deadly force,

Unless we also require *everyone* participating to have First Aid, Stop the Bleed, Safesport, Concussion and CPR certification and training, as part of their initial student curriculum?

If we do not teach good falling skills, before throwing, takedowns, sweeps, or reversals, then we are....

That is like having a gun class, without gun safety training, or the necessary Safety Brief, before every class.

As far as I can tell, we should take our time with falling practice, and not rush through that, and all the other safety protocols, too.

That was not unwanted broccoli, those were the most valuable skills we teach, the falling skills, and those safety skills.

Yet, our product is not always good.
When we teach our children to drive, that should be nervous, and careful.
So is all of this, and for the same reasons.

None of it, is safe. It is all very Dangerous, and always was.

Because, if we do not teach our charges to fall well, from throws,
Which was supposed to be our core.
We surely have nothing to teach them,
About how to survive the predations, of us, their teachers,
Coaches, Teams, and Affiliations.

By the numbers,
We might be the greater threats, to them.
And should then present ourselves, as such, honestly.

"If you join this sport, you might get raped or assaulted by a violent thug, or be a rapist, or a violent thug".

We should get the bumper stickers ordered...

About 40% of the male and female school teacher sex abuse of public school students in the US are sports coaches or sports related.

I love sports, sports are good for kids, without rape.
How can we get the sports, without the male and female coaches and athletes being such rapists?
Because I think the raping is a negative, and defeats the purpose.

As is the violent thuggery, and those verbal styles, which are pretty bad examples for the kids, too.